Pilot



Pilot
 Summer is nearly over and the football jocks the cheerios are still hard at work nearing the end of their respective Hell Week. Sue Sylvester is watching impatiently at her Cheerios with a look of disappointment on the routine while Coach Bieste is yelling at her guys to get them to listen and work hard. Coach Roz, who was recently put in charge of seeing over the routines for the Cheerios is giving them a dramatic speech about empowerment and what it means to be on a winning team.

 The camera zooms in on two tall, muscular teenagers who are trying out to be the new quarterback. Mark Peary, a tall, brown haired, blue eyed, senior who was held back for a year is dominating his competition, Tyler DiLoretto, a junior who stands just as tall as Mark and has the same hair color but he doesn’t have the same endurance as his older companion.

 Football FIeld

 Mark (  to Tyler while getting ready to throw the ball  ):  Hey bud, why don’t you just give up already. You wont be able to beat me.

 Tyler (  looking defeated  ):  Well, maybe if I was held back for a year like you I would be in better shape.

 Mark (  completely losing it as he doesn’t like people talking about being held back  ):  What did you say to me, you little punk ass junior?

 Tyler:  What that you were held back?

 Mark:  You know darn well what happened to me as you were there. Need I remind you that if I didn’t stick up for you, you would be the one who was expelled!

 Tyler (  taunting him and feeding his rage  ):  Oh please, that was the stupidest thing you ever did.

 Mark:  That’s it, you little punk. I’ve had it up to here with you. Take this. (As he throws the football at Tyler’s head) You keep talking and you’ll end up in the hospital.

 (Tyler quickly gets back on his feet and lunges towards Mark after a few moments Coach Bieste comes by to break them up)

 Bieste (  furious  ):  Hey! I know it’s hot and I’ve been working you like slaves, but one more outburst from either of you, and you are off the team and say goodbye to any chance you had at a football scholarship! Now everyone I want to see some wind sprints coming all of you, until you pass out or I tell you to stop, now move!

 ( Mark and Tyler reluctantly agree with the coach and they join the other teammates. On the opposite side Sue is still trying to figure out how to make her lousy team better. The camera pans over the cheerios who are sweating like pigs with messed up hair. The camera zooms to get a closer look at three girls who are both tall, one with short black hair, Sasha Espinoza, the second one, Valerie Munroe, who looks a lot like Emma Stone, and the third one, Megan Smith, a junior with long dark brown hair.)

 Sasha:  Hey, um Coach, I was wondering if it would be possible if we could try the other routine we were working on, just for a small break.

 Sue:  There are no brakes in cheer. You take a break it means we lose Nationals and I wont let that happen.

 Valerie:  Uh but it’s not like we are actually taking a break, I mean we’re still working just on a different routine.

 Sue:  I knew the moment I laid eyes on you Emma Stone that you would be trouble, I mean just look at what happened when you claimed to lose you’re virginity.

 Sasha (  to a confused Valerie  ):  Wait, does she really think you’re Emma Stone?

 Valerie (  to Sasha  ):  Um, maybe. (To Sue) Uh, coach I don’t mean to correct you but I’m a virgin.

 Sue:  That is preposterous; the whole world saw you lose it. ( Sasha and Valerie look at each other with a confused look .) Fine, we can change the routine; at least then we won’t be talking. Who’s got the music?

 ( Ally Francisco, a young, blonde hair, blue eyed sophomore, in a wheelchair, who’s been watching from a far rolls on up to Sue with the music while she is saddened that because of her injury she cannot partake in being a real cheerio .)

 Ally:  I’ve got it Coach.

 Sue (  surprised  ):  Who are you?

 Ally:  I’m Ally, I’ve been your assistant since last year.

 Sue:  I think I would remember a paraplegic being my assistant.

 Ally:  You kept calling me Wheels 2.0 and normal Becky.

 Sue:  Nope, still doesn’t ring a bell. Well it’s a good thing I need a new assistant as my old I don’t even remember her.

 Ally (  reluctantly  ):  Great. Here’s the music.

 ( Ally presses play on the stereo and a remix of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe comes on full blast. )

Call Me Maybe
 Sue (  talking simultaneously while the music is playing not even being aware of it  ):  And a 5-6-7-8.

 Your stare was holdin’ 

 Ripped jeans, skin was showin’ 

Come on sloppy babies you’re not even breaking a sweat.

 Hot night, wind was blowin’ 

I can do better than that in my sleep.

'' Where you think you're going, baby? ''

Oh please, what are you even doing, you can’t even hear the music.

 ( Ally turns the music up louder )

 Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, 

 But here’s my number, so call me maybe 

 Sue:  What on earth is this music! Turn it off now!

 ( Ally turns the music off while the cheerios are looking stunned as to why she did that. )

 Sue  (To Ally): Burn that song, burn it now. (To the Cheerios) Who chose it?

 Megan (  a little frightened  ):  Uh, you did.

 Sue (  Biting her bottom lip  ):  Hit the showers. We’ll try this again tomorrow with better music.

 ( Sasha and Valerie are thrilled at the news and are the first two to leave. )

 Sasha:  God, she’s a nightmare.

 Valerie:  I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that this is real life and not a nightmare.

 Sasha (  slightly confused  ):  What? No, it’s just an expression.

 Valerie:  What is?

 Sasha:  Never mind it’s not important.

 Megan:  But what is important is that I’m so glad that Sue is not in charge of the Troubletones as well; I think I would literally shoot myself.

 Ally (  who rolled out of nowhere  ):  Speaking of which are you guys planning on auditioning?

 Megan:  Um, why are you talking to us? (Walks away)

 Ally:  I, uh, sorry?

 Sasha (  walks over and kneels in front of her  ):  Don’t be, that’s just how Megan is.

 ( Moving from there back the football team, Coach Bieste had finally told them stop running as half her guys looked like they were ready to pass out. Mark and Tyler are still at each other’s throats .)

 Mark (  panting  ):  Aw, common Bieste I was just getting warmed up.

 Tyler (  panting as well  ):  Yeah me too. Plus I can do more than he can.

 Mark (  snaps back to normal  ):  Oh really, you’re going to start this up again I see.

 Tyler:  I’m not starting anything I’m just telling the truth like I know it.

 Bieste:  Boys! I still haven’t decided on the quarterback, we’ll see how it goes during the first game; you will switch off every quarter until I know for sure who is quarterback. Everyone else gather in, I have you’re spots assigned. First up, Fullback is Dean Hudson (a tall, athletic, ladies man sophomore), Wide Receivers are James Montgomery (a tall blonde hair blue eyed sophomore) and Brady Quimby (short brown hair, tall, white Junior). Halfback is Harry Olson (tall, dark hair, blue eyed sophomore). Safety is Skylar (average height, medium length curly haired sophomore).

 ( After all the positions except quarterback was announced everyone walked back to the locker room .)

 Brady:  Party at my house tonight! Back to school blast!

 ( All the guys hollered and the cheerios who overheard took out their phones and mass texted to everyone.)



Parking Lot
 (After the long weekend, the first day of school was here. In the parking lot we see a blue Mini Cooper pull up to the side of the school and a conversation going on inside between Camille Beck, a short freshman with long wavy gold hair, and her mother.)

 Mrs. Beck  : Camille, are you excited for your first day of school?

 Camille  (sarcastic): Yeah mom, of course, isn’t everybody.

 Mrs. Beck  : Now Camille, don’t use sarcasm around me, you know better than that.

 Camille  : Fine. No, I’m scared, I’m nervous, I don’t know anyone. Why did we have to move anyways?

 Mrs. Beck  : For the hundredth time, I got a promotion and they need me in Lima, now stop asking me! Trust me, you’ll love it here and you are going to meet so many nice people.

 Camille  : I want to go back home.

<p style="text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph"> Mrs. Beck  (insensitively): I know, but we’re staying here.

 Camille  : Ugh.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Cars honk behind her .)

 Mrs. Beck  : Ok, well I got to get to work; it’s my first day too. I’ll pick you up around 5 and we will get dinner.

 Camille  : Ok mom; see you later. (Kisses her mom on her cheek.)

 Mrs. Beck  : Bye, baby, have a great day. Oout the window) DON’T FORGET TO SIGN UP FOR CLUBS!

 Camille  (embarrassed): Mom, keep your voice down, I go to school here.

 Mrs. Beck  : Love you, baby! (To herself) Haha, oh how I love embarrassing her.

<p style="text-align:center"> (After seeing her mom drive off, Camille turns around to face the new challenge that is right in front of her; being the new girl at High School is never easy. Walking down the hallway, Camille looks around trying to figure out where she even is, the zoo? School? The back alley? A bunch of jocks rush by her throwing a football knocking her over. Just then, Tyler DiLoretto comes up to her to help her up.)

 Camille  : Hey, watch where you’re throwing that thing.

 Tyler  : Hey, sorry about that.

 Camille  : Well you should really—(looks up at the guy; smitten) it’s no big deal. I’m fine.

 Tyler  : No but really, I’m surprised I didn’t see you; you are definitely someone that I would’ve seen.

 Camille (  twirling her hair  )  : Oh really, and why is that?

 Tyler  : Common, an attractive girl such as yourself, with long, golden, wavy hair and a beautiful smile. I mean honestly, how could I have missed you.

 Camille  : I don’t know guess something else distracted you.

 Tyler  : Well, I’m sorry.

Camille (flirty): Hello, Sorry, I’m Camille.

 Tyler  (smiling): Hi Camille, my name is Tyler but you can call me Sorry if you want.

 Camille  (still flirting): Sorry it is.

 Tyler  (still smiling): If you ever need help or anything make sure to call me.

 Camille  : Can I call on you now?

 Tyler  : Yeah, of course.

 Camille  : I’m new here, obviously, and I don’t know where my locker is or where any of my classes are. So what do you say about giving a little girl a hand?

 Tyler  : Do you know one?

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler laughs while Camille lightly punches his arm .)

 Camille  : I meant me, could you give me a hand.

 Tyler  (claps his hands): How is that? (laughs) Sure thing. Let’s go.

 Camille  : You’re such a dork.

Commercial
<p style="text-align:center"> ( As they are walking, Tyler is showing Camille where some of her classes are, Camille smiles thinking that she now has a friend, and maybe even a high school crush .)

 Camille  : So you seem to know what’s good in the school, can you show me the ropes, like where to go, who to talk to, who to avoid? You know that kind of stuff.

 Tyler  : Sure thing. Well for starters, as long as you’re with me your fine. (Camille giggles.) The only thing I would avoid both the clubs and the people would be those in the Mock UN, Debate team, Rhythmic Gymnastics, Synchronized Swimming, and Glee Club.

 Camille  (taken aback): Glee Club? Why, you guys have won Nationals the past six years. I mean it was split between both groups you guys have: the New Directions and the Troubletones, they each won three times respectively.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler gives her a questionable look .)

 Camille  : What? I did my research before I came here?

 Tyler  (laughs): True, true. But it’s still not as popular as the jocks. They definitely have become more popular but they still get the occasional slushy to the face or towel smack on the butt or maybe a target for a dodge ball and I don’t want you to worry about that.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Just then a member of New Directions who is average height, dark hair, good-looking sophomore walks by and gets slushied by the football team and some of it gets tossed towards Camille and Tyler .)

 Camille  (to the jocks): Hey watch it. (To Tyler) Thanks for looking out. Well here is my locker, (slowly) right next to the sign up sheets for the clubs, (sarcastically) great.

 Tyler  : Ha, well at least now you wont forget.

 Camille  : Awesome…well thanks for showing me around.

 Tyler  : Anytime, well I gotta run. I gotta go see the guidance counselor about scheduling my SATs.

 Camille  (shocked): You’re a junior?

 Tyler  : Yeah I am.

 Camille  (quickly): Ok, well see you around.

 Tyler  : Later.

<p style="text-align:center"> Camille  (messing with her locker.): [  VO: ''A junior? Luke is a junior? Great, just great. The first guy I meet that I actually like is a junior, ugh this changes everything. He probably has a girlfriend and they’re gonna get married and worst of all, if I even join Glee Club I’ll risk getting slushied like that one guy. What to do, what to do? (Closes her locker)'']

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Camille walks up to the sign up sheet and just as she turns to leave, Tyler comes over .)

 Tyler  : Cheerleading.

 Camille  : Ahhh, You scared me.

 Tyler  : Hahaha, I can see you as a Cheerio.

 Camille (  still shocked  )  : Thanks. And it wasn’t funny.

 Tyler  : It is a little bit.

 Camille  : Whatever. What are you doing here, I thought you left.

 Tyler  : I did but then I realized I didn’t give you my number.

 Camille  : Oh, ok thanks. Here is mine.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Just then a beautiful girl who is shorter than Camille with dark red hair and green eyes wearing a revealing blue dress comes out of nowhere. )

 Girl  : I’ll take that. (Snatching the piece of paper) What do you think you are doing?

 Camille  (confused): Uh, are you talking to me?

 Girl  : No, I’m talking to the locker. Yes, you!

 Camille  : Um, giving my number –

 Girl  (a tad jealous): Tyler, why is this girl giving you her number?

 Tyler  : Well-

 Camille  (peeved): What’s your deal?

 Tyler  : Camille, you see she-

 Girl  : The name is Natalie aka Tyler’s girlfriend!

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler stands there awkwardly not really sure what to do .)

 Camille  : Oh, I didn’t know. [VO: Of course I did, I just didn’t want to believe it.]

 Natalie  (mockingly): Oh “I didn’t know.” Ha, like I haven’t heard that before.

 Camille  : I’m new here and Tyler was showing me around cause he knocked me over.

 Natalie  : Oh really is that so.

 Tyler  : Natalie, come over here. (Whispering) It’s true, I was showing her around and I gave her my number just in case she needed any help.

 Natalie (  smiling  )  : Oh ok. I believe you, I understand (walks back over to Camille and whispers to Camille in her face) Now look here Goldie Locks, I maybe a sophomore but me and mah Troubletones sisters we run this school. And let me give you a piece of advice, stay away from my man. (Louder) Well if you need anything ask me. See you around, Toodles.

 Tyler  : I gotta go, but I’ll see you at lunch?

 Camille  : Wont Natalie be jealous?

 Tyler  : Well she’s busy today so I don’t see a problem; do you?

 Camille  : No, lunch it is then.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Up against the locker Camille tries to process what happened .)

<p style="text-align:center"> [VO: ''Tyler, a junior, hot, taken, and his girlfriend is a complete psychopath. (Smiling) Maybe I could use that to my advantage.'']

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Camille crosses back to the bulletin board and puts both their names on the New Directions sign up sheet .)

In the Teacher’s Lounge
<p style="text-align:center"> ( Will, Emma, Coach Roz, and Sue are all talking about the new year .)

 Mr. Shue  : Sorry Roz, you may have beaten us at National’s last year, but this is the year for New Directions I can feel it.

 Coach Roz  : Oh hell no, Mr. Shue. The Troubletones will be bringing it again and again and again until only my group stays standing and New Directions will go plummeting down Marianas Trench.

 Mr. Shue  : Your group only has females in it, and the last time a boy auditioned he ended up needing therapy. New Directions will definitely be the winner because we have a variety.

 Coach Roz  : That’s because he was weak. The Troubletones are three things Mr. Shue: Fierce, Femme, and Phenomenal. If we beat you guys this year then maybe I’ll think about letting males in my group but until then, only girls allowed. Sue (walks in with coffee for everyone): I still cant believe you guys are still going on and on about that. It’s Glee Club it’s not anything important.

 Mr. Shue  : Well Sue, you are still signed up as Co-Director so-

 Sue  : So has got nothing to do with it Will. And don’t remind me that I’m still your partner. These past six years I still have yet to remove that awful taste from my mouth, I even tried using acidic products-

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Flashbacks of Sue trying these products )

and all that did was give me some minor mouth bleeding. But my Cheerios are still my main priority.

 Mr. Shue  : And I couldn’t be more proud of you that you still stuck around.

 Emma  : Well I think it’s a great thing that there are two glee clubs at the school.

 Coach Roz  : And why is that deer eyes.

 Emma  : Well, for starters they allowed it so you guys don’t compete against each other till Nationals if you guys both get there and you will. Plus, competition has been able to keep your kids in check and focused on destroying the competitors.

 Sue  : I still can’t believe you got tenure.

<p style="text-align:center"> Bell rings 

 Mr. Shue  : Well good luck at your auditions. It’s time for the first day of school to start.

<p style="text-align:center">''' They leave. '''

<p style="text-align:center"> Over the PA system, Principal Figgins:

<p style="text-align:center">'' Good Morning McKinley, I hope you all had a great summer and are looking forward to yet another great year. Don’t forget next week is our Welcome Back Pep Assembly. If you haven’t done so already, the sign up sheets are located in the West Wing outside of the science lab for those of you who wish to partake in this year’s festivities. Also, whoever thought of tagging the East Wall with profane pictures of our janitor dancing the Macarena you are in big trouble when I find out who did that. ''

<p style="text-align:center"> (Show the wall and two students giving each other a high five in success.)

<p style="text-align:center">'' Lastly, I want to give a Congratulatory shout out to The Troubletones for winning Nationals yet again as well as our own Cheerios. Anyways, have a good day. ''

 Mr. Shue  (to class): Hello, class I’m Will Shuester and welcome to History. Hope you are ready for another year at McKinley. (Sound of crickets) Once again I would like to send an open invite for you guys to audition for New Directions, the sign up sheet is on my door and the back wall. (Still silence) Ok, well let’s get started then.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Bell rings everyone leaves except one person. Harry Olson walks over to Mr. Shue to talk to him about Glee Club .)

 Harry  : Mr. Shue?

 Mr. Shue  : Harry, what can I do for you?

 Harry  : I was wondering if I could audition now for the New Directions, I’m kind of nervous singing in front of others especially the fact that I’m on the football team.

 Mr. Shue  : And you want to join New Directions hoping to over come it.

 Harry (  lying  )  : Uh, yeah that and to build up my extra curriculars.

 Mr. Shue  : I would love to say that you could audition but I would want you to do it if it’s what you are passionate about not just to fill a requirement.

 Harry:  Plus I hope that one day I can become a singer or an actor.

 Mr. Schue:  Well I’m busy I still have some-

<p style="text-align:center"> (Harry takes a deep breath and nods to a student who has a guitar and begins to sing an acoustic version of Love Story by Taylor Swift.)

Love Story
 We were both young when I first saw you 

 I close my eyes   And the flashback starts 

 I’m standing there 

 On a balcony in summer air 

 See the lights 

 See the party, the ball gowns 

 See you make your way through the crowd 

 And say hello, little did I know 

 That I was Romeo I was throwing pebbles 

 And your daddy said stay away from Juliet 

 And you was crying on the staircase 

 Begging you please don't go, and I said 

 Marry me Juliet 

 You’ll never have to be alone 

 I love you and that’s all I really know 

 I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress 

 It's a love story baby just say yes 

 Mr. Shue  : Wow, you’re really talented. That was one of the best version’s of that song I have ever heard. Harry: Thank you, so what do you say?

 Mr. Shue  : Let me think about it and I’ll let you know by tomorrow.

 Harry (  leaving  )  : Ok, thanks Mr. Shue.

 Mr. Shue  (to himself): Wow, that guy was incredible.

 Sue  : Who’s incredible?

 Mr. Shue  : Harry Olson, he’s on the football team.

 Sue (  disgusted  )  : I know who he is. He’s made half of my girls fall in love with him which caused so many problems I thought I was coaching those kids from Jersey.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( A scene from Jersey Shore plays .)

 Mr. Shue  : Sue-

 Sue (  blunt  )  : I don’t want him in New Directions. You told him no, right?

 Mr. Shue  : But Sue, he’s got one of the best voices I’ve ever heard.

 Sue  (again): You told him no, right?

 Mr. Shue  : Not, exactly. I said he will find out tomorrow like the rest of the kids.

 Sue  : Common William you got to lay down the law. Do you want to have even more drama than there already is?

 Mr. Shue  : There’s drama every year.

 Sue  : Either you tell him “No” or I will.

 Mr. Shue  : Sue that is not your call.

 Sue  (walking out): Well it is now!

 Mr. Shue  (sarcastically): Well we’re off to a great year already. === In the cafeteria === <p style="text-align:center"> ( Camille and Tyler are eating lunch together. Camille is eating nervously while Tyler is introducing her to all of his jock friends, Harry, Skylar, Brady, Dean, and Mark .)

 Tyler  : So are you nervous for your Cheerios tryout?

 Camille  : No, I’m not nervous for that-

 Skylar  : Well then why aren’t you eating?

 Camille  : I’m nervous for my audition.

 Harry  : Audition? For The Troubletones?

 Camille  : No, not for the Troubletones, the New Directions.

 Tyler  : You are seriously going to go through with that?

 Camille  : Yeah I am and I want you to be there for support.

 Tyler  : I don’t know, Natalie was pretty steamed. She kept texting me about how much she wants to kill you.

 Camille  : Well, you kind of have to go.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( All the heads at the table are now tuned in to their conversation. )

 Tyler  : Why is that?

 Camille  : Because I signed you up as well.

 Tyler  : Camille!

 Camille  : What? I’ve heard around that you have a nice voice.

 Tyler  : From who? These guys?

<p style="text-align:center"> ( The guys pretend like they don’t know what’s going on. )

 Camille:  Yup.

 Tyler (  giving the guys a look that says “Really you told her”  ):  Yeah, but I don’t sing in front of people.

 Camille  : Look you owe me one for this morning. You made me embarrassed so now its time for your punishment.

 Mark:  I like this girl she’s feisty.

 Tyler  : Fine, when is the audition.

 Camille  : Now, let’s go.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Jumps out of her seat .)

 Tyler  : WHAT?!

<p style="text-align:center"> (Chases after her.)

 Camille  : Common, we’re going to be late. Don’t forget Mr. Schue wants to hear our ambitions.

 Skylar (  to Mark  ):  So does this mean we get to slushy him?

 Mark:  Not quite. I think we can have some fun with this. What do you say boys? Are you feeling musically inclined?

<p style="text-align:center"> ( They all give confused looks. )

Auditions
<p style="text-align:center"> ( Cuts to the Auditorium, a young girl, with long, black hair and white skin dressed in jeans with a sparkly blue top with cowboy boots on walks into the room getting ready to sing in front of Schue, Sue, and the current New Direction Members .)

<h3 style="text-align:center"> New Directions

 Shirley  (southern accent): Hey y’all, my name is Shirley Madison and since I will one day be the greatest Country singer who ever lived I thought it would be nice to throw some country into this joint.

 Mr. Shue  : Awesome.

 Sue  (eye rolls at Will’s statement): Country sucks. (Some of the ND giggle.)

Flat On The Floor
 I’m flat on the floor 

 With my head down low 

 Where the sky can't rain on me anymore 

 Don't knock on my door cause I won't come 

 I'm hiding from the storm 'til the damage gets done 

 Baby, baby, baby, baby tell me how 

 You think you gonna live without my love now 

 I don't know why you gotta keep coming around 

 Creeping up my street 

 Oh boy, you can't bother me 

 I’m flat on the floor with my head down low 

 Where the sky can't rain on me anymore 

 Don't knock on my door cause I won't come 

 I’m hiding from the storm 'til the damage gets done 

 Mr. Shue  : Incredible Shirley. I’ve wanted a country singer in here for the longest time.

 Sue  : Country is boring, NEXT! (As Shirley leaves Sue turns to Will.) I’m trying to build you a winning team; country will run you into the ground.

 Shirley  (walks off stage a little sad): She’s such a bitch.

Troubletones
<p style="text-align:center"> ( At the Troubletones auditions, in walks a very perky young African American girl with a big smile on her face and a red Taylor guitar that’s about as big as she is. )

 Melanie  : Hi, I’m so excited to be here! I’m Melanie and I will be singing White Horses by Taylor Swift.

White Horses
 Say you’re sorry 

 That face of an angel 

 Comes out just when you need it to 

 As I paced back and forth all this time 

 Cause I honestly believed in you 

 Holding on 

 The days drag on 

 Stupid girl, 

 I should have known, I should have known 

 Cause I’m not your princess, this ain't a fairytale, 

 I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well 

 This is a big world, that was a small town 

 And there in my rear view mirror disappearing now 

 Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now 

 Coach Roz  : Such a great voice from someone so small and young. Perfect. Way to represent our people Melanie.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Melanie stands there smiling unsure of whether to stay or leave waits for instructions .)

 Natalie  : Are you gonna stay up there the whole day, we still have more people to see?

 Melanie  : Oh, right. Thank You.

<h3 style="text-align:center"> ( Meanwhile back at the New Directions auditions )

 Sue  : She’s a brat.

 Shue  : Sue!

 Lilly  : I’m Lillian Craig, but you can call me Lilly-

 Sue  (whispers to Will): I’d rather not.

<p style="text-align:left;"> Lilly  : I’m a sophomore, and my ambition is a little silly if you aren’t me but it’s to be a star. [VO (while a muted dialogue is exchanged between Sue and Schue): ''Actually its kind of the exact opposite, you see I’m the daughter of Darryl and Skylar Craig, my dad is a big time music executive and growing up I never had the attention of my dad as we lived in Hollywood and he cared more about his clients than me. Now I live in Lima with my grandma while my dad still sends me money and clothes and that probably had something to do with me and my friends trying to light a dumpster on fire and than he went berserk and instead of dealing with me he just sent me off to live my grandma. Oh well, his loss. I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but all I know is one day my father will see me for who I am and I no longer need to be a rebel or hang with stoners to get his attention. I will prove to him that I am worthy of his attention. Funny, trying to prove to your own kin that you are worthy to of their attention. Now it’s time to kick this audition into high gear.'']

Love You Like A Love Song
 It’s been said and done 

 Every beautiful thought’s been already sung 

 And I guess right now here's another one 

 So your melody will play on and on, with the best of ‘em 

 You are beautiful, like a dream come alive, incredible 

 A sinful, miracle, lyrical 

 You've saved my life again 

 And I want you to know baby 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 I, I love you like a love song, baby 

 I love you...like a love song...  Mr. Shue: Interesting song choice. Good Job.

<h3 style="text-align:center"> Crosses over at The Troubletones 

 Natalie  (impatient): Next, NEXT!! COMMON, WE’RE NOT GONNA BE HERE ALL DAY!

<p style="text-align:center"> ( In walks an average height girl with brown hair cut short and looks a little uneasy .)

 Girl  : Hi, I’m Zoe Chris and I will be-

 Coach Roz  : Gurl you best not be gonna throw up.

 Zoe  : No, I’m good.

 Coach Roz  : Ok, but if you do your cleaning that up.

 Natalie:  Wait, Zoe as in Jinx Zoe? Oh no. Roz get this girl out of here. She’s nothing but a jinx and she will cost us Invitationals.

 Zoe:  [VO: ''Whether you believe in jinxes or not, if you’ve met me you know they exist because I am a jinx. I wasn’t always this way but my mother, my own mother never understood me and ignored me and I soon drifted into the background, luckily I’m somewhat smart so I maintained good grades but all I want is to know every time I want to run away there’s always something that keeps me from actually going. One day I hope to be a better mother than my own, I will be the exact opposite, but for now I need to make sure I get that opportunity.'']

 Roz:  Natalie now calm down girl. She’s fine she just looks like she’s one of those girls whose cold and out of heroine.

 Natalie:  Fine but I warned you.

 Roz:  Well between you and me I know a thing or two about counter curses. Plus if that don’t work, I’m sure Will would love her.

 Zoe  : Um, hello. I’m still here.

 Roz:  Huh, oh right carry on.

Who Knew
 Zoe:  You took my hand 

 You showed me how 

 You promised me you'd be around 

 Uh huh  <p style="margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em;"> That's right 

 I took your words 

 And I believed 

 In everything 

 You said to me 

 Yeah huh 

 That's right 

 If someone said three years from now 

 You’d be long gone 

 I’d stand up and punch them out 

 Cause they’re all wrong and 

 That last kiss 

 I’ll cherish 

 Until we meet again 

 And time makes 

 It harder 

 I wish I could remember 

 But I keep 

 Your memory 

 You visit me in my sleep 

 My darling 

 Who knew 

 My darling 

 I miss you 

 My darling 

 Who knew 

 Coach Roz  : Ok vanilla you’re not half bad.

 Natalie  : Oh please, Coach Roz. NEXT!

<h3 style="text-align:center"> Back at the New Directions

<p style="text-align:center"> (As Lilly walks out Maxwell, a tall skinny black guy walks in and slips on his untied shoelace. Sue busts out laughing.)

 Sue  (to Will): Great someone who is even less coordinated than Ireland and Frankenteen.

 Mr. Shue  (looking for a name): Are you ok…?

 Max  : Max, my name is Max and yeah I’m fine. I’m actually a lot more coordinated than that. I’m a dancer.

 Sue (  whispers to Schue  ):  Yeah right. No dancer would slip like that.

 Mr. Shue  : Well, whenever you’re ready.

 Max  : [VO (ND are giving him a weird stare as he is not talking and just smiling): ''Maxwell Sebastian Clarkson that is my name. Know it because one day my name will light up everywhere. I’m a junior in case you were wondering. Some might say I’m a nerd but I am much more than that, I am an artist, a dancer, a dancing nerd, I like the sound of that. I’ve often been told I move people when I dance, and that has to go to being adopted and readopted several times it’s opened my soul and thus I can put that emotion in my moves for the world to see. I also can’t forget the little people aka Ms. Harriet Shawn for keeping me the longest and for taking interest in my ability. Anyways, what was I just doing? Oh that’s right, I have an audition and these next 15 minutes of fame I will showcase everything.'']

 Sue:  Ok time’s up.

 Max (  coming out of his brain  ):  Wait, what? I haven’t sung or dance.

 Sue:  Sorry kid, looks like you’re 15 minutes are up. Way to waste them.

 Schue:  Sue be nice. (to Max) Maybe next time kid.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Max starts walking out the door, takes a breath, and quickly starts turning around and around until he lands in his signature pose with his finger in the air and his head down. The music starts to build and he busts out his Chris Brown moves while the ND are enjoying it. )

Turn Up The Music
 Turn up the music, cause this song just came on 

 Turn up the music, if they try to turn us down 

 Turn up the music, can I hear it til the speakers blow 

 Turn up the music, fill your cup and drink it down 

<p style="margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em;"> If you’re sexy and you know it put your hands up in the ' air 

 Put your hands up in the air, girl, put your hands up 

 If you’re sexy and you know it put your hands up in the ' air 

 Put your hands up in the air, girl, put your hands up 

 Max: 

 Turn up the music,  (ND:  Just turn it up louder) 

 Turn up the music,  (ND:  I need it in my life, yeah)   Turn up the music,  (ND:  Just turn it up louder)   Turn up the music,  (ND:  I need it in my life, yeah) 

 Save my life, all I wanna do is party 

 So DJ turn it up 

 Girl, dance with me, just dance with me 

 Girl can I see that, I really wanna touch that 

 Maybe can I beat that (don't stop the)   Max:   Turn up the music,  (ND:  Just turn it up louder)   Turn up the music,  (ND:  I need it in my life, yeah)   Turn up the music,  (ND:  Just turn it up louder)   Turn up the music,  (ND:  I need it in my life, yeah) 

<p style="text-align:center"> (  Mr. Schue, Sue, and the rest of the ND clap for Max.  ) 

 Mr. Shue  (claps his hands): Fantastic, I’m sorry we thought other wise. Maybe you could give Mike Chang a run for his money.

 Max:  Oh really? I know I’m good but not that good. I couldn’t even get into his elite dance group.

 Sue  : It was ok.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Max walks out feeling very confident. An excited Camille walks up to the microphone .)

 Camille  : Hi, I’m Camille and right now my ambition is just survive my first year in Ohio. Also, I will be singing Free.

Free
 Sue  (to Shue): That’s a ridiculous title.

'' It’s not like I'm invisible.   You still wear me under your skin. ''

<p style="margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em;">'' When we talk we don't talk at all. ''

'' To weak to leave, too stubborn to give in. ''

'' Who is gonna be the first to say a truce? ''

'' It's not enough that we should part can't stop fighting too. ''

 We don't let go 

 We can't get close 

 I still need you and you still need me 

 This tug of war 

 Can't go on anymore 

 Nobody wins from this misery 

 Free 

 Well oh can't you see 

 I wanna be 

'' I want you to be free. ''

'' Let it be. Let it be ''

 Just a beautiful memory 

 Everything that starts will have an ending 

'' Let it go. Let it go ''

 Yeah cuz we both know 

 This will only be over when we're free 

 Free 

 I wanna be 

 I want you to be 

'' Ok baby, free. ''

 Mr. Shue  : Beautiful, amazing, loved it.

 Sue  : I can’t tell if that is your hair or if you are part lion, NEXT!

 Camille  (whispers to Tyler): Good luck.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( As Camille leaves unsure of what just happened, Lucas walks in with his guitar and stares at the microphone for a few minutes )

 Tyler  : My name is Tyler DiLoretto and you can call me Ty if you’d like.

 Sue (  whispers   to Schue  ):  I’d rather tie him up.

 Tyler (  nervous  ):  I’m a junior and I will be singing St-t-t-t

 Sue:  Out with it boy.

 Tyler:  Stuttering.

Stuttering
 I ain’t usually lost for words 

 This has got to be a first 

 And I’m tryna find the reason why I'm 

<p style="margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em;"> Stu- stu- stu- stuttering 

Something funny's happening

 I'm at a place I've never been 

 And there's got to be a reason why I'm 

 Stu- stu- stu- stuttering 

 I try to breathe but I'm suffocating 

 I could me but it's complicated 

 I wanna tell you who I am, where I'm from 

 Where I go when I wanna be alone 

 I want you to know me better 

 Once I get my thoughts together 

 It should be so easy to tell you how I'm feeling 

 But I can't stop 

 Stu- doo doo doo doo doo 

 Stuttering 

 Mr. Shue  : Sue wake up.

 Sue  : What it’s over?

 Tyler  (believing that was a good thing): You really liked it?

 Sue  : Oh, God no! You were putting me to sleep; I didn’t want to wake up. I honestly couldn’t tell if you have a stutter or that’s just how the song goes.

 Tyler  (disappointed): Oh.

 Mr. Shue  : Interesting song choice, but overall you were great.

 Tyler  (quietly, disappointed): Thank you.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler walks off stage and goes over to Camille .)

 Tyler  : I cannot believe I let you talk me into doing that. Natalie is going to be pissed.

 Camille  : Whatever, she’s in the Troubletones it might not even matter after awhile.

 Tyler  : What?

 Camille  : Oh sh—, (trying to cover up) No, I didn’t say that, no, uh, um.

 Tyler  : Are you trying to break us up?

 Camille  : No, I wanted to get under her skin but-

 Tyler  : So you dragged me into this. Great. (Tyler walks off angrily).

 Camille  : UGH, why can’t I keep my mouth shut?

Breadstix
<p style="text-align:center"> At Breadstix with Camille and her mom.

 Mrs. Beck  : So Camille; how was school?

 Camille  : It was fine.

 Mrs. Beck  : Make any friends?

 Camille  : Kind of.

 Mrs. Beck  : What do you mean?

 Camille (  speaking quickly  )  : Well I got knocked over by some football jocks and a really cute guy name Tyler came over and helped me up then he showed me around and his psycho girlfriend showed up and she pretty much hates my guts, then she threatened me, then I signed both me and Tyler up for glee club and that was a disaster, the co-director is terrible and yelled at everyone and I pretty much told Tyler I wrote his name on the list so his girlfriend would break up with him. So now I have lost the only friend I made and possibly created two enemies.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Mrs. Beck gives her a blank stare )

 Camille  : Mom, I don’t know what to do, apologize? Let it be. ..

 Mrs. Beck  : That’s up to you, if you like him than apologize.

 Camille  : But mom, that’s degrading.

 Mrs. Beck  : Well what you did to him sounds nothing like who you really are.

 Camille  : I know. I guess I’m just annoyed at the fact that even though all freshmen are new I’m the one that seems to not know anybody or know how things work.

 Mrs. Beck  : I know it’s hard but it’ll get better.

 Camille  (half-heartedly): I hope.

 Mrs. Beck  : Now how was your cheer tryout?

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Camille rolls her eyes thinking about her tryout. Camille walks up to audition and was shocked to find out that Sue is the coach and Ally is helping her .)

 Camille and Sue  : Oh no, not you.

 Camille  : You’re the coach! Is this school designed to make me not join anything?

 Sue  : Well I’m not happy you’re here either.

 Camille  : So what do you want me to do?

 Ally  : Why don’t you just show us what you got?

 Camille  (takes a deep breath puts on a big smile): Ready, Ok!

Hey all you Titan fans let me hear you clap your hands (Claps 12 times)

Now that you’ve got the beat let me hear you stomp your feet (Stomps 12 times)

Now that you know the groove let me see your body move. (Turns around in a circle chanting awoos, ah, ah)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 McKinley, don’t take no drive

6, 7, 8, 9, 10 McKinley, back it up and do it again

10, 9, 8, 7, 6 Titans, don’t give no sh-

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Titans, are number 1

<p style="text-align:center"> ( As they are leaving Breadstix )

 Camille  : Interesting.

 Mrs. Beck  : So you didn’t make it.

 Camille  : No, I did. I am a Cheerio.

 Mrs. Beck  : And what about New Directions?

 Camille  : I find that out tomorrow.

Bell Rings
 Shirley  : I’m so nervous, y’all. My audition went terrible.

 Max  : You’re kidding, you were great. Mine was terrible.

 Lilly  : I think we all just believe that we were terrible because of Sue Sylvester.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( All think about their auditions and what Sue was saying. Shirley looks at Camille and notices her new clothes .)

 Shirley  : Looks like someone’s a suck up.

 Camille  : What do you mean?

 Max  : I think she is referring to the new Cheerio uniform you’re wearing.

 Camille  : Oh no, I tried out for the Cheerios after school, after my New Directions audition.

 Lilly  : Still, you’re song wasn’t even all that good.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Mr. Shue walks over and puts the list up on the bulletin board .)

 Mr. Shue  : Hey, guys. Are you excited to see you if you’ve made it.

 Shirley  (sheepishly): Yeah, of course Mr. Shue.

 Mr. Shue  : Glad to hear. And remember, no hard feelings.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Lilly, Shirley, and Max all swallow and simultaneously look at the callback list while Harry Olson watches from a distance .) New Directions Current Adam Michaels Jeffery Moore New Members Camille Beck Maxwell Clarkson Lillian Craig Tyler DiLoretto Shirley Madison Harry Olson <p style="text-align:center"> ( All three cheer in excitement that they have made it .)

 Lilly  : Well congrats Goldie Locks, you’re now apart of New Directions as well, and go tell your lover boy he made it too.

 Camille  : He’s not my lover boy.

 Shirley  : Yeah, whatever.

 Natalie  (who is putting up the Troubletones list over heard the whole thing): Now we’re enemies in both school and glee clubs, awesome. Now, who’s your lover boy?

 Camille  : Why don’t you take a closer look at the New Directions list?

 Natalie  : Don’t mind if I do. (scrolling through the list she stops on one name, flustered) Tyler is on New Directions!

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Melanie and Zoe walk over to the Troubletones list ) Troubletones Current Sasha Espinoza Natalie Sheets Jasmine Solstice Samantha Stevens New Members Melanie Brown Zoe Chris  Melanie  : Oh my, gosh I made it into the Troubletones!

 Zoe  : Oh wow, me too!

<p style="text-align:center"> ( They both give Natalie a hug.)

 Natalie  : Get off of me!

 Melanie  : Ok Trouble sis, (giggle) see you at rehearsals.

 Natalie  : You are going to pay Blondie.

 Camille  : Can’t wait to finish you off at Nationals. Oh, btw, you might want to close your mouth there are a bunch of flies around and they love your minty stank breath.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Natalie storms off in search for Tyler. When she finds him she grabs him by the arm and throws him against his locker .)

 Natalie  (furious): You joined the New Directions, and didn’t tell me!

 Tyler  : I just auditioned.

 Natalie  : Well congrats cuz you made it! Tyler (surprised): Are you serious?

 Natalie  : Yeah! I’m dead serious. Why are you trying to ruin own relationship?

 Tyler  : I’m doing nothing of the sort.

 Natalie  : Did Blondie put you up to it?

 Tyler  : Leave her out of it. And so what it was fun, and it wasn’t like I was actually going to accept it.

 Natalie  (a little calmer): Good, cuz we cannot be on opposite sides and rivals if we’re together.

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler’s friends make whipping noises in the background, which bothers Tyler .)

 Tyler  : On second thought, maybe I will accept it, just to show that you don’t own me.

 Natalie  : WHAT?! I don’t own you!

 Tyler  : Really? Cuz it sure looks that way. You practically tell me how to live my life.

 Natalie  : Fine! Accept the offer; go be apart of No Direction. We’ll kick your ass even with you on the team.

 Tyler  : See you on the ice then.

 Natalie  : Fine!

 Tyler  : Fine!

 Natalie  : Good!

 Tyler  : Good!

<p style="text-align:center"> ( Tyler turns to leave .)

 Natalie  : ARE WE STILL ON FOR OUR DATE TONIGHT!

 Tyler  : NO, I’M MAD AT YOU!

In the Auditorium
<p style="text-align:center"> ( Coach Roz and Natalie are walking back and forth talking to the Troubletones .)

 Melanie  : I am so excited to be here this is going to be so much fun.

 Natalie  (still pissed from what just happened with Tyler): Shut up Melanie! The Troubletones don’t have a weakness. As stated by our beloved Troubletones sister, the Troubletones are three F’s: Fierce, Femme, and Phenomenal! Any sign of weakness, you are kicked of the team.

 Coach Roz  : Congrats young ladies for making it into the Troubletones. Now for the rest of the year, you will work your asses to the bone, many of you will cry and many of you will want out, (sidetracked) but if there is anything I learned from winning my bronze medal for Individualized Synchronized Swimming at Beijing China, it’s this: I am an Olympian and I am a winner!

 Zoe  : Um, Coach Roz, that’s great and all but do you know anything about coaching a glee club? I mean yeah you’ve won Nationals three times but do you even know what you are doing?

 Coach Roz  (flabbergasted): Excuse me, missy. What do I know about winning? I just told you, you have an Olympian as your coach and you will not fail me. Now can I get an Amen!

 Troubletones  : AMEN!

 Coach Roz  : Amen!

 Troubletones  : AMEN!

 Coach Roz  : Now get your asses up its time to go to work.

<p style="text-align:center;"> -the end 

Call Me Maybe

 * By Carly Rae Jepsen, danced by the Cheerios

Love Story

 * By Taylor Swift sung by Harry Olson

Flat On The Floor

 * By Carrie Underwood sung by Shirley Madison

White Horses

 * By Taylor Swift sung by Melanie Brown

Love You Like A Love Song

 * By Selena Gomez sung by Lillian Craig

Who Knew

 * By P!nk sung by Zoe Chris

Turn Up The Music

 * By Chris Brown sung by Max Clarkson

Free

 * By Haley Reinahrt sung by Camille Beck

Stuttering

 * By Jazmine Sullivan sung by Tyler DiLoretto